New Year's (notice how I didn't say happy?)

So it's New Year's and I can't help but wonder what everyone else is up to. It is 1:50am EST and I am already home from my tita's house where I ate a ton of food. Now, everyone is getting ready for bed and I am in my pajayjays too. I didn't see any fireworks, but I heard firecrackers outside in the rain. The closest I came to a New Year's party tonight was my mom dancing alone (while everyone watched-no, she wasn't drunk) at my tita's party to the performances on TV. The closest I came to alcohol was sparkling apple cider in a plastic cup (not even the pretty plastic flutes so I can pretend) since I'm not 21 yet (although I definitely saw a few people at my tita's drinking champagne who were much younger than me).

I am quite sad. At my tita's party, one of our family friend's son, coincidentally named Matt, brought his girlfriend there. I smile to myself since New Year's Eve four years ago that same Matt had asked me to be his girlfriend, but at the same time I envied him so much tonight that he got to give his girlfriend a kiss when the ball dropped at midnight. At least Matthew is out partying in New York at a masquerade with Arthur, Lauren, Kenny, Frank, Emily and Courtney to distract him from not being with me. I have my best friends, Set and Monopoly Deal, to play with.

I can't help but think about what Matthew is doing right now. All night I just wished I could be with him. I keep texting him, but I know he won't answer when he's busy partying. I wonder who he's dancing with since I'm not there. Actually, I don't even want to think about since it makes me want to cry that he might be dancing with someone else. After all, Arthur is dancing with Lauren. Emily and Courtney are dancing with other guys. I'm sure Kenny and Frank are dancing with other girls. So then who does Matthew dance with? When Matthew wears his mask, no one sees that he has a girlfriend in geriatric Toms River anymore. There's probably lots of girls at this masquerade ball lining up for him. I don't want to worry, but what else is there for me to do? I guess I should just go to bed and not think about him, but its hard for me not to think about him.

Ugh... this is a ridiculously depressing post. I wonder if there are other 20-year-olds like me who are at home right now just wishing they could go out and celebrate the New Year with friends? I wouldn't feel as awful if I knew I wasn't the only one. Its not that I don't want to be with my family, of course I do. Its just a little boring when everyone goes to bed. At college, there's always someone to talk to and hang out with this late at night. I miss Brown.

Oh, to be young and and my body homebound. My spirit is restless.

P.S.
2:43am Currently watching 27 Dresses- "Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind."-James Marsden

mmhmm yum

The internet is gravy. I got to reconnect with a few friends that I haven't seen in ages (10-13 years) with the good old facebook. Yesterday, we grabbed some coffee and spent some quality time catching ourselves up on everything. It is a little weird re-meeting these people you knew when both of you were younger, but I was actually surprised in how much I liked these people. Not that I'm automatically cynical upon meeting someone new, but I think we were all compatible with one another yesterday in such a way that it really didn't feel like there had been that huge a gap since last time we were together. Ya' know? Kind of?

Well yeah, home has continued to be fun. I enjoy the errands with parents, watching TV with my brother, and seeing my home crew. I always look forward to my vidchats with Robin. They make me miss her more. One day, I'm just going to drive down to her and hide in her closet. I think it'd be pretty fun hiding from her parents. Then, when everyone's asleep... "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock."

Hehe, but really, I kinda' just want to cook a meal for her. I've gotten to cook a lot while at home. It's so nice to have a bunch of ingredients just waiting for me to use up (Thanks mother and father for stocking up). I know what I'm going to try out next. There's a barbeque salmon that I know she loves, which means I have to start perfecting it. Do not worry mahal, I'll make sure it tastes delicious before your taste buds ever sample it.

On a last note, stay clean everyone. Nothing's nicer than a warm shower with suds all over. Okay, later.

-Matthew

Happily Ever After

This morning I took my two younger cousins and Ria to watch Princess and the Frog, the new Disney movie set in New Orleans. I've always wondered how these princesses know that they've found true love by just spending a few days with someone. Even in other romantic comedies like Enchanted or The Proposal, they spend a weekend together and then BHAM! they love each other and get married. How do they know if they end up with Prince Charming or Prince Shrek?

Sometimes I wonder about these things because love can be quite a scary thing. I know it lasts forever, but love can change form in different types of relationships. I always think positively because which girl doesn't wish that her relationship will be the one that lasts forever? That this guy will finally be the one she spends the rest of her life with? I am probably just being mushy about Matthew, but I wish sometimes that there was some way to time travel and see that there is a happily ever after in the future rather than guessing that is what's in store for us. Honestly, I am scared. Hopefully in our movie, the story does end up happily ever after.

P.S. On a tangent:
By the way, after going shopping at Toys R Us in New York City yesterday I am going to have to rethink how many and if I want children at all. I was waiting in line for at least an hour with all of these crazy, whining, crying children who kept asking for their parents to buy this and that I thought I was going to lose it! And I pride myself on having a lot of patience for children since I deal with them everyday, but this was insanity. I couldn't even take a picture with Robin the dinosaur because all of these rude children kept yelling, screaming, and pushing me without even apologizing! How rude can you get? Too bad I couldn't find their parents and tell them a thing or two about parenting. Sorry, that was my rant for the night. I'm done, I feel better now.

I had an amazing Christmas Eve and Christmas, spending some quality time with my family. Got some - probably more than some actually - delicious Filipino food, answered all of the standard "How's school?" type questions from the elders, and caught up with mga pinsan ko.

Robin was asked for several times throughout the past two nights. She's only met my extended family a handful of times before, but she left a very positive notion with them. My aunts told me that I had picked the perfect girl. I agreed. Indeed, I am quite the lucky fellow. Even my 8-year old cousin Jennifer, whose judgment of character is impeccable, happens to love Robin and told me that she really wanted to see her again. It makes me smile knowing that she remembers my mahal, even when I barely get to see my little cousins nowadays. Family is important, and it's comforting to know that not only my parents, but my extended relatives, approve of someone that I am dating. It was a little sad though, because she was all I had wanted for Christmas. I had to explain to every questioning relative that she was in South Jersey with her own family.

No matter how joyous the occasion was, there is still a large part of my holiday missing. If you really are supposed to spend moments like that with the people you love the most, I know that we should be together, but the circumstances fail to agree with us. One day though, we will be able to spend the Christmases and New Years together without any hardship or toil. Until those days come, I swear on my life that every Christmas will be a blue without you.

Robin, my dear, I miss you so. Every vibrating string that causes the spark of life within me misses you. My life is disrupted when I can't see, hear, or touch you. I want you to know that you make me extremely happy to be with you. I honestly cannot picture myself being content with anyone else. I eagerly await the next time we are together so we can catch up on the holiday celebrating. I love you.

-Matthew

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Instead of Christmas cheer and laughter, everyone is asleep at my house and I am lonely. Sana nandito ang aking mahal and we were together again. My mom has been asking me all this week what I wish for Christmas and that I should write to Santa and put it in my stocking. I didn't write my letter to Santa and he came to my house at approximately 7:30pm this evening and gave me Ferrero Rocher (yes, I opened one gift). Ha, that's what I get for not asking for my Matthew. Oh well, I love chocolate too.

Christmas is crazy. I can imagine had there been sales around Jesus' time, those 3 kings would've gotten distracted by a friendly Best Buy employee en route to Bethlehem and traded in their gold, frankincense, and myrrh for the latest in electronic awesomeness.

Anyway, I just want to stop wanting so many things. I just need the basics: food, water, clothing, shelter, and love. Speaking of love, I kinda' miss mine. Days go by...

December 22, 2009

After 18 months together, Balatbatman and I have decided to settle down and have a blog together. Who knows what's next for us? Maybe a dog or cat... stay tuned to find out!

Welcome

(to internet) Internet, Balatbatman and Robin

(to Balatbatman and Robin) Balatbatman and Robin, internet.

Guys, glad you finally met.